Speaking the Truth in Love

Posted: October 11, 2013 in Uncategorized

Who likes to be told the truth? Well everyone…..unless it’s about themselves 🙂

Mark Twain coined the phrase “Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.”

Even though it is the most valuable thing we have, it’s not always the easiest thing to do. Especially if telling the truth to someone is going to cause some self reflection which will inflict damage to that person (even though they need to hear it).

Paul tells us that we are to “speak the truth in love”That sounds easier than it really is. See the truth is that people who aren’t your true friends will stab you in the back. But Oscar Wilde says:


Now this type of stabbing still should be “in love”. The stab is just the necessary means to open the flesh, to get to the underlying wound. Imagine your friend has been shot, there are no doctors around, and you are the only one that can get the bullet out for the chance of their survival. Once the bullet is out you can help stitch them up. Speaking the truth in love should be the same thing. Open the wound, help them identify and remove whatever it is that is harming them, and then help stitch them back up.

Speaking the truth in love has a formula that was shown to me recently from my cousin Dave.

Formula of the Week

Truth + Gentleness = Love

Without the gentleness, it’s just the truth (without love).

Question of the Week

In what way have you had an interesting experience either on the giving or receiving end of speaking the truth (either not in love, or in love). Let us know what you learned from it by dropping a comment.

  1. Ron Schencks says:

    This is one of your best blog’s yet. I get in a lot of trouble for telling people exactly what I think when they ask me a personal question, but I feel I should answer them truthfully. So I tell them up front, if you don’t want to hear what I think you should not ask me that question. You don’t help a person’s situation by sugar coating anything and telling them what they want to hear. If you don’t be truthful with them, you just pour salt in their wound. That is my take.

  2. Dan King says:

    Thanks for sharing Ron! I agree with not sugarcoating as it only hurts them more if you do sugarcoat. But as James talks about in his book, the tongue is a weapon!

  3. Gary says:

    Great blog, Dan! I’m learning to be better at this myself. In the past I’ve always been one to shy away from confrontations, even if I feel that a friend needs to be told the truth. I’m growing though, and have seen the positive fruits of “speaking the truth in love”. God is good 🙂

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